Fuck this hurts.
(Source: cheesekills, via o-r-d-i-e)
(Source: seizes, via miserable-liee)
Depeche Mode - Shake the Disease
Iām not going down on my knees
Begging you to adore me
(via pkthndr)
If i could put into words the way i feel then maybe i could analyze them and try to find a solution. It’s almost like the jittery feeling you get from lack of sleep along with a knife being stabbed into my throat. My mind runs so fast that my thoughts eventually go numb and I don’t feel real. No matter what i do i can’t find comfort. I always have an over whelming feeling that i’m not in the right place and I have to keep running. Constantly on the verge of a breakdown i’m trying to keep myself busy but nothing seems to work. Winter depression never came this year. I think the seasons are fucking with me. My dreams are filled with images that haunt me while i’m awake. I could spend the whole day in bed if i didn’t know any better. Then again not knowing anything got me here in the first place.Ā
1 guy 1 ice pick really didn’t phase me.
So everyone knows
My mind can’t grasp the concept of focusing on one thing at a time. 20 years of disappointment has left my perception of sanity blind. I can’t say I’m much better. I capture, disappoint, then release. Maybe disappointment is predisposed upon a person as alcoholism is said to be.
Goddammit I hate when people mess with my phone. Sorry if anyone got a weird text or obscene call. At least my status didn’t get changed to ‘cowboys butts drive me nuts’ this time.
Woke up with an anxiety attack. Good start to this ridiculous day I’m about to have.
I don’t feel I have anything to live for anymore.
It’s 6am. I can’t sleep.
š
